Adult Jokes

Non Veg. Jokes Part - 15

2008-04-29T05:29:00.000-07:00

Chahta Hoon Tujhe Pyar Doon
Dosti Pe Apni Zindagi Waar Doon
Par Jab Tera koi REPLY Nahi Milta To
Dil Kerta Hy Teri G@ND Pe Goli Maar Doo......... ......... ........

............ ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... ......... .

Father & son went to medical store Father buys pack of condoms

Son:
Whats this?

Father:
Its medicine for killing rats

Son:
O bhenchod!

Ch00t mein bhi choohe..!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Manmohan America gaye..>>BUSH se bole,raat ko maal bhejo..! >>Bush:16 saal ki ya 20 ki..?Manmohan: 65 ki bhejo,hum America ki beti nahi maa ch0dne aye hain..!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Husband: Tum meri kis cheez se sabse zyada impress ho..?
Life Style,.
Car,.
Bank Balance.?
Biwi: Tumhare Sexx se..,tumhara jaisa Sexx mohalle me kisi ko nahi aata..!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Ye ladkiya b kitni chalaak hoti he,apna 16 rupye litre wala DUDH ka lalach dekar hamara 180 rupye kilo wala GHEE nikal leti hai..!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

16 sundria Swiming pool me naha rahi thi, achanak . . Pool ka sara pani sukh gaya ! Pucho kyun ? Yahi he asli WHISPER ka kamal"Gilepan ki chhutti..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Girl to boyfrnd-Dear, do u know apki lulli duniya ki sabse badi lulli hai??
boy-Achcha,
Girl-kyun ki,iske baad lund ki catagari hoti hai

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

dentist was caught raping a girl. Next day headline, "Dentist caught filling wrong cavity".

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

newly married husbnd to wife at his in-laws home- chalo darlin aaj sex karte hai....!!!

wife- nahi ye mere baap ka ghar hai...!!

husbnd- to kya mere hi baap ne randi khana khol rakha hai????

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

ghalib na fermaya : koi saheli na mili to na sahi , tere jesa dost tu mil gaya

WAH WAH

chalo choot na mili tu na sahi .. tere jesa chootiya tu mil gaya

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Aftr marriage couple in bed
She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder.
She:0h!dat feels gud.
hand moves 2 her breast.
She:Honey,dats wonderful.
hand moves 2 her leg.
She:0h honey dnt stop.
He stops.
She:Why did u stop?
He: Coz I found d remote!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Ultimate thought:

Failure is not when ur girlfrand leaves u,
its only when u leave her..

.....virgin

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

On first night
Wife: aaj mera upwaas hai!
Husband slaped his wife and said
kya mere lund par aata laga hai
jo tera upwas toot jayega

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Kisi condom company ne world-cup ko sponser kiya hota to uski advt me aise likh
te....
Cover your STUMP.
Before you PUMP

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Responses during sex_
a) GIRLFRIEND - Wow darling, this is gr8...
b) PROSTITUTE - Come on.. finish it now..
c) WIFE - I think d ceiling needs painting....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

TOTALLY NON-VEG
Bhosri Plaza Hotel
'MENU CARD'
Grilled m ummay;
Achari l und;
P huddi of the day;
Tandoori b und
L ullian sirkay waali:
Chilly c hoot;
T attay mughlai
Gori b und da halwa;
Nargisi t attay;
P huddi pakoray;
L und folooda;
Mard makhan naan;
Afghani g and kabab;
Daigay m ammay;
L und khara masala;
B hosri fried rice;
Melted t utti cream;
P eeshab up;

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Whats the height
of bad luck...

A man had sex in
dream and got AIDS

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Two Sardars got into a heated argument.While argueing, 1 of them shouted "Kiss My A ss!"The other replied "This is not the time 2 b romantic'.. :-)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Banta to wife : It is shame but let me confess I have become HOMOSEXUAL.

Wife: How come?

Banta: I have Sex at HOME only!
Wife:Thank god I am not

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Da ultimate truth of Life is dat,"SUCCESS KISSES U IN PRIVATE"

But....

"FAILURE ALWAYS FU CKS U IN PUBLIC"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

What is the height of shock?

When you are having sex with a pregnant woman and suddenly a hand
grabs your dick from inside!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

A Couple Was Kissing In Da Garden
Suddenly Dog n Bitch Start Fucking

Boy: Janu Mera Bhi Dil Kerta Hy Main Bhi Ker Loon

Girl : Ok, Par Sambhal Ker Kutiya Kaat Na Le

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------

Milk Products According To Breast Size . . . ! ! !

32 Tarang
Chota Pack Bara Maza

34 Everyday
Jaise Chahe Piyo

36 Olper’s
Un K Liye Jo Dil Khol Ker Peete Hyn ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Nasbandi ki team ko dubara apne gaon me dekh kar ek budha bola, "In logo ne connection to pahle hi kat diya tha,

ab kya HANDSET bhi le jayenge?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Dad-Beti ki Shadi zaldi karni chahiye.
Mom-Ji ha,kitchen se roj GAJAR,MULI gayab ho rai he
Grndfathr-Do din se meri lakdi bhi gayab hai

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

Pilot to tower:"i'm 300 miles from land,600 feet over water & no fuel,plz instruct."
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Tower to pilot:"Gaaaand marao!!!"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Agar Gandhiji ke samay me AIDS hota to kya hota?
.
.
.
.
.
Toh chautha(4th) bandar underwear ke saamne haath karke khada hota

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Degrees Of Girl

BA – Beautifull Ass

LLB – Lovly Lickable Breasts

BSc – Beautifull Sexy Cunr

MBBS – Member Of Big Boobs Society

MBA – Married But Available ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

1 Larka Mar Gya Tou Us Ki maa Roty Huey Boli; Mere Larke Ne Dunya Main Dekha Hii Kia Tha

1 Parosan Larki Boli : Maine Tumhare Larke Ko Sab Kuch Dikha Dia Tha ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Grl 2 Swami: Can i c d future?
Swami: Gt nakd & bend & he startd oiling her asss..
She: It feels u're gonna fuk me?
Swami: dekha tum future dekhne lagi na..!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Aaj maine
2 kasme
khai hai...

1) Parai ladki pe nazar
nahi
dalunga.

2) Kisi bhi
ladki ko
paraai nahi
manungaaa!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

zara sambhal k

zyada bhaari chiz mat utana

waqt pe khana

waqt pe sona

apna khayal rakhna

Q

k

Teesra mahina chal raha hai na

2008 ka!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Shaadi K Baad Larke k Dosto'n Ne Larke Se Poocha "Kaisi Rahi Suhaag Raat?"

Larka Bola : Aray Yaar Kabhi Khaandan Main Shaadi Nahi Kerna

Dosto'n Ne Poocha K: Kyun

Larka Bola : Jab Main Zor Zor Se Kerne Laga Tou Wo Boli

"KAMRAN BHAI" Zara Aaram Se . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

A Guy Wanted To Lose Weight

He Went To A Diet Centre

It Offered Plan A or B

He Took Plan A

He Was Than Taken To A Room Wherein A Good Looking Naked Girl Wid A
"If U Catch Me, U Can FUCK Me" Sign Was W8ing For Him

He Never Caught Her But Lost 50 Lbs

After 3 Days

He Decided To Try Plan B

Thinkin Tht Shud B Better
Excited, he Quickly Enteed The Room

A Horse Was W8ing Wid A Sign That Says
"I'll Fuck U If I Catch U" ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------

Shazada Saleem:- Anarkali ham tumhari Phudi Lena chahtae hae

Anar Kali:- Shahzada Hazur itni Bari cheez maang li aap nae

Shahzada Saleem:- ohhhhh ager itni bari hae to rehnae he do.......... ...

My collections

girls hostel me phone aya: rekha hai kya?” warden ne pooncha aage kya lagati hai, jawaab aaya abhi to pata nahi phele stayfree lagati thi.

beta: papa condom kya hota hai?

papa: chal bhag mujhe nahi pata.

beta: tabhi to hum 7 bhai-bahen hain!

ek reliance girl ki bra par likha tha” karlo duniya mutthi mein” to uske panty per kya likha hoga “lifetime incoming free”

newton ne apple niche girte dekha or gravity ki khoj ki.

usko ye pucko ki 25 saal se sandas karta tha, wo kya upar jata tha? sala chutiya bana gaya sabko.

why are females more successful in stock market than males???

because they know very well..

nichama levanu..

uparma aapvanu...

palat kar dekh janeman, jigar me dum hum bhi rakte hai. bra me do bomb tum rakhti ho to, chadi me ek gun hum bhi rakhte hai.

raat ti tanhaaye main.. haat underwear ki gehariyee mein.. kuch mehsoos sa hota hai.. mat sataao usko zalim kyunki.. pappu bhi sota hai.

thought of the day:- school ki ghanti ya ladki, dono mein se kisi ko bhi bajayoge, to ander se bacche hi niklenge.

tir kya chalati ho, dhar to talwar me hai, duppate se kya chupati ho, maal to salwar me hai..

navi shadi shuda jodi hoti hai. usme adami ka khada hi nahi hota use pata chalata hai jungal me ek sadhu hai wo uske pass jata hai. sadhu bola tumhe sirf tin vardan deta hoon tan bologe to khada ho jayega. tan tan bologe to baith jaega adami waha se nikal padata hai use jooth lagata hai wo paid ke niche jake pant kholata hai aur bolta hai tan, uska khada ho jata hai use yakin ho gaya. bus main chadhata hai conductuer bell marata hai tan khada ho jata hai nus rukati hai fir bell marta hai tan tan baith jata hai ghar par aata hai biwi ko bola saadi nikalo biwi saadi utarti hai aur bola tan biwi boli tum aise tan tan kya karte ho.

jab rat ke 12 bajte hai.

hum mutthi lagate hai,

ahshan kishi ka lete nahi.

hatho se gujara kerte hai.

miya aur bibi me bhayank jhagda ho gaya. miya gusse se tilmilata hua chillaya gaand maar doonga!!! bibi boli: age ki to sochte nahi, bus peeche pade rehte ho..

judge: jab tum per rape ho raha tha tab tum kaisa mahsus kar rahi thi??

ladki: laddu agar jabardasti se bhi khilaya jaye to meetha hi lagta hai.

an english lady asks pammi,

whats ur daily routine.

pammi replied: ki dassan, sara di chulle de agge, te sari raat bulee de agge!

sperms talking to each other inside batas polly: main doctor banuga, mainpilot banuga, after sometime bata goes to bathroom to masturbate. sperms to each other. saala isne toh sara career barbaad kar dita.

girlfriend are like a ghadi ditergent

phele istemal karo phir visvas karo

oscar nominations 4 best blue film:

1) hasina ki gand me pasian.

2) bhag bhosadi ke randi chodke

3) chut ke uper bhut

4) condom me chhed, khula bhed

1st time dekhiye mallika ke

b( . )( . )bs

maine to sirf dekhne ko kaha tha, aap to dabane lage!!

similarity between gandhi & mallika!

dono ne kapde tyag diye. ek ne desh ke liye, doosre ne deshwasion ke liye. aaisi azaadi aur kahan?

the reaction of girls after exams & after sex is the same:-

1) kitna lamba tha, kaash thoda time aur mil jata

2) pehle kitna darr lag raha tha, baad mein pata hi nahi laga

kab ho gya

3) mere to chhoot gya tha

4) teen ghante muje to saans hi nahi aayee

5) aaage ka to theek tha peeche ka kitna mushkil tha.

gand ko sahi salamt rakhne ke 3 upay.

1) gand rox dhona

) “ (

(_(__)

2) achi underwear pehanna

) “ (

(_(__)

3) mujh se panga mat lena

) “ (

(_ (__)

choot choot choot choot choot choot choot choot choot choot choot choot ab vim bar ke bade pack pe 3 rupaye ki choot, dirty mind...

maine tommy ko beja hai, jo dost mujhe sms nahi karte, tommy unke cell per mut ke ayega.

rich man 2 poor man: arey ye to batao sex maza hai ya mehnat?

poor man: sahab maza hi hoga mehnat hoti to ye bhi aap humse karwate.

man throws wifes bra out of the window8it falls on a mango seller.. he mutters: saale ne aam choos lia, aur chilke mere uper phek diye.

matrinonial ad: wanted a girl, age no bar, height no bar, looks no bar, colour no bar, caste no bar, money no bar, but sex bar bar bar bar...

lady is suking a man while he is driving, they meet with an accident.. blood spatters within the car.. a passerby comments “ aap baal-baal bach gaye” man replies sirf baal hi to bache gaye, bahi to who nigal gayi.

hothon mein whai muskaan liye, hathon main whai jaam liye, kahan chali ho janeman, seene pe dairy farm liye?

lady lost her new imported panties in the house.. angery , she asked her husband if he’d seen them. husband asked the maid.. maid replied, saab aapko to maloom hai, main chaddi nahin pahenti!

ek hijde ne army ke sare test pass karke jab sex test me gaya : major oye tera lund hi nahi hai. hijda-aapko mujse gun chalwani hai ya apni gand marvani hai?

palat ke kekh jalim tamanna hum bhi rakhte hai, husn tum rakhti ho to jawani hum bhi rakhtey hai, gehrai tum rakhti ho to lambaai hum bhi rakhtey hai.

gabbar: basanti tatti kar.

viru: nahi basanti in kutto ke samne tatti mat karna ye log tujhe paani nahi denge aur mujhse teri gand chatwaaenge!!!

wife oh!!! zara dhire karo kyo rajdhani chala rahe ho? malgadi chalo itne me beta bed se gira aur bola jo marxi ho wo chalaao per passenger ko to mat girao..

bahu, saas ki tange daba rahi thi, lehnga ooncha ho gaya, bahu boli, pranam! saas boli kisko?

bahu boli, sasur ki ranbhum aur inki janambhumi ko..

gujarati: aa underwear ni shu guarantee chhe?

merchant: underwear pahrine 12ma mala thi jump karo, gand phati jase pann underwear nai phate.

what is tragidy of film sholay??

ek to thakur ki biwi mar gai thi aur uper se gabber ne us ke dono hath kat diye the

beti, ma se: ma, lakda muze pasand hai, per wo bahut hi fat hai.

ma: beti tv chahe kitna bhi bada ho per remote to 7 inch ka hi hot ahai na.

10dular was having sex with malika she siad sachin tumhari nuni pe to aids likha hai, sachin said aare khada to hone de,.. uspe adidas likha hai.

teacher, teri shikayat ayi k tu gaali bolta hai, student sir, maine to kabhi kisi behnchod ko gali nahi di pata nahi ki madarchood ne aapki gand me chugli ki hai.

a girl goes 2 umbrella repair guy, he says: upper ka kapda nikal k naya rod ander tak dalna padega. girl says: kuch bbhi karo par pani ander nahi jana chahiye.

do u know did the parachute get its name?

ans: a girl jumped out of the plane n her skirt went up, an indian saw up n said kitna pyara-chut hai.

girls, eating biscuit in class, after some time she kept it in bra, teacher where is ur biscuit, boy siting next 2 girl says dudh may duba ke kha rahi hai.

Jab us hasena ko pasina ata hae,

Use dekh ker mujhe jina ata ha,

Geeli kamiz jab cheepakti ha pasine se,

Uff kia ubhar ke uska seena ata hae.

----------------------

Molvi: mujhe biwi k liye bra chaye!

Shop keeper: Size pata ha ap ko

Molvi: Size to nahin pata per oski purani bra se maene 2 caps apne

liye banaye thi

--------------------------------

Y scooty kab li?

Sardar: Kal rat 1 lerki mujhe scooty per bohot dur legaye, sab kapre

uttar kar boli, jo chaye lelo, ma ne scooty leli, kapro ko ma kia

keerta.

--------------------------------

A blow job is the only job in the world that cannot b included in

resume despite years of experience and number of good refernces

Sardarni: mane keha than a condoumn k jaga romal istemal na karo, ab

romal under reh gaya, sardar: oh positive soch rakho, ye soch bacha

pagri pehn ker bahr ayega.

-----------------------------------

Elephant to camel: y do u have hips on ur back:

Camel: well that's a fuckin good question from some 1 who has dick

on his face.

------------------------------------

Gal: wat do u like in me?

Boy: Those 2 white big balls having black dots on them.

Girl : Wat??????

Boy: yes I like ur eyes very much.

----------------------------------

Gal to salesman: Bra Dekha

SM: 36 chalega

Gal: nahin, choti do

SM: 32

Gal: nahin or choti

SM: 28

Gal: or choti

SM: 20

Gal: or choti

SM: Bhenji, saniplast deta hon, woh chipka do.

a hilarious but very vulgar shayari and jokes, some posted earlier in the group, please dont read if u dont want to

Dulhan ne uptan na lagai to dadi boli "beti ubtan lagale werna NOOR

nahin charhega" suhag rat k baad dulhan dadi se boli "NOOR to aesa

charha ke subha hi utra"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Qissa aik chudae ka!

Pehle gardan pa kaat liya hum ne,

phir mammo ko chaat lia hum ney,

phir dia honto pey namkin chuma,

bari dare tak nipple ko choosa,

ungli kar kar pani dia nikaal,

boli woh tarap ke jaldi se andar daal,

josh-e-jawani mai lund ko rakha choot pey,

dono haath jama diye os ke doodh pey,

zabt key bandhan achanak toot gaye,

under dalney sey pehle hi hum bahar hi choot gaye!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Bill Clinton's Air Force Plane... The pilot

announced , "Mr.President, we are about to land. Please return the

Air Hostess to her upright position!"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

What is the difference between a person who is committing suicide

and a virgin?..... ......... ..

One is trying to die.... and the other is dying to try....!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Mom :" soja warna gabbar ajayega"

Boy: "pehle Rs100 do"

Mom: "kion"?

Boy: "werna mai papa ko bata donga, mere sone k bad yeahn gabar ata

ha"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

A very chodu shaayar made it to the marriage party of a Nizam’s daughter. He was behaving pretty well when some people asked him to say a sher. These people were expecting something nice from him when he started…

SHER KAHE, SHAYARI KAHE YA GAYE KOI GANA

TERI NANI PAIR UTHAYE, CHODE MERA NANA!

People were shocked to hear this, though this shayar had a famous background of telling some really gandu shayaris. But this being a Royal Marriage, people requested him to say something about the wedding. To humare shayar sahab ne farmaya…

KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI…

People - WAH!, WAH, IRSHAAD, IRSHAAD !!!!

KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI…

CHUDEGI AAJ LAUNDI NIZAM KI.

People were really angry to hear this They started abusing and throwing stones at him. On this he again started…

AYE DHARTI KE CHAAND SITARON…

MAA KE LAUDON, PATTHAR TO NA MARO

People went out of control this time and started beating and kicking him. He begged for mercy but they were not ready to listen to him, any so he finally stated.

GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE, GAND MARLO HAMARI..

GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE, GAND MARLO HAMARI….

JAB BAHARE-CHAMAN MAIN HONGE, MAA CHOD-DENGE TUMHARI…

Rest is history But the history stayed with him when he grew up. Ab jaahir hai ki aise chutiye ke prem me koi padega nahi. To yeh shayar Hyderabaad se Bombai pyaar ka chakkar chalane ke liye aaya. Ek usne achchhi ladki ko dekha. Ladki ka dhyaan kahi aur tha to shaayar sahaab ne wahi farma diya…

MUDHKAR ZARA IDHAR BHI DEKH ZAALIM

KE TAMANNA HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI,

CHUT TERE PAAS HAI TO KYA

LUND HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI

You won’t believe it But the girl liked this shayri and she fell for him. Things went well for them for next few days, lekin woh ladki kuch aage nahi badhne deti thi. To ek suhane mousam pe humare dost ne use kahe hi dala…

DIL TO DIYA HAI TUJHE PAR EK SHART LAGAYI HAI

LENI HAI WOH CHEEZ JO TUNE TANGO ME CHHEPAYEE HAI

That was it! Ladki ek dam ruth gayi aur shayar se milna jhulna chhod diya. To shayar ki haalat bhi kharab ho gayi. Dost log bhi khairat puchhne chale aaye. To cheer him up, they requested him to say a sher dedicated to her. So he goes…

BEDARD ZAMANA KYA JAANE

KYA CHEEZ JUDAAI HOTI HAI

HUM LUND PAKAD KAR BAITHE HAI

JABKI GHAR GHAR ME CHUDAI HOTI HAI

Yeh sunkar dost log hil gaye. Koi bola lund ko sambhalo. To koi kaheta hai ki agar lund ko pakad kar baithoge to mutne kaise jaoge? To shayar bolta hai…

KOUN KAHETA HAI KI LUND YAHAN MUTNEKO AATA HAI?

ARE WOH TO CHUT KI YAAD ME AANSU BAHANE AATA HAI

Yeh sun kar sab dost log aur bhi pareshaan ho gaye. Ek dost se to yeh suna bhi nahi gaya.

To woh dost bolta hai ki mei kaise bhi karke teri darling ko waapis bulaunga. Tere paas waapis aake tujh pe ek ehsaan karne khi bhikh mangooga. Ab aap log to jaane ti ho ki yeh shayar log kitne independant hote hai. To humare shayar ko yeh ehsaan lene wali baat kuch pasand nahi aayi. To woh bola…

EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA, HUM TO MUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE HAI

JAB BHI YAAD UNKI AATI HAI, OOTH OOTH DUBARA KARTE HAI

Mahebooba kabhi waapis nahi aayi. To uski yaad bhula ne ke liye wohi shaayar Delhi chala gaya. Wahan jab Qutub Minar dekha to bola:

DEKH KE QUTUB MINAR, SHAYAR KA DIMMAG DODA

ASMAAN KO CHODNE CHALA DHARTI KA LAUDA

Is par Delhi police ki gaand mein khujli hui to usse pakad liya gaya aur court mein pesh kiya gaya. Jab Judge sahiba ne poocha “tumhe kuch kehna hai?” to woh bola:

AIYE SANAM UTHA KALAM

MUJHE KASAM HAI RABKI

MAA CHOD DOONGA SABKI…

On such a contempt of court, he was ordered to be hanged till death. When he was burried, the judge sahiba visited his grave. Needless to say she was very mad so she pissed on his grave. Judge sahiba ke jane ke is shayar ke bhoot ne ek arz farmaya…

WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PAR

AUR MUTT KAR CHALE GAYE

WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PAR

AUR MUTT KAR CHALE GAYE

MUTNE KA TO BAHANA THA

WOH CHUT DIKHAKAR CHALE GAYE .......

==============================================

Non Veg. Jokes Part - 14

2008-04-29T05:27:00.004-07:00

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Yuhi hat se muth laga laga k mar jao ge
humne lund dekhaya tu dar jao ge
ek bar leker tu dekho lund hamara
bar bar ki lene ki zid pe arr jao ge....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Barish me Ladki ke gile boobs dekhkar

Boy: Apki headlight on ho gai hai..

Girl: Mera Bap bill bharega tumhe kya?

Boy: Par bijli ka Khamba to Mera Hil raha hai...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Aurat K 3 Karishmay!

1) Baghair Ghaass Khaye Doodh Deti Hai.

2) Baghair Daanton K Kaccha Gosht Khati Hai.

3) Baghair Lund K,
Mard Ki Gaand Maar Deti Hai....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Some Giggling Facts:

1: Fuck a girl & she'll love you, Love a girl & she'll fuck you!

2: Most men have split personalities; They hate cats but love pussies.

3: The words "naked" & "nude" are not the same. Naked implies unprotected & Nude means unclothed.

4: Men give love to get sex, Women give sex to get love.

5: Common thing between a girl's legs and butter: Both are delicious when spread...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

If your boss says
NOTHING is impossible.. .

Ask him to try and wear
a condom after sex...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Love is not measured by hugging kissing n sex. Its all abt trusting, respecting n accepting a prson wid
OPEN LEGS CLOSED EYES, WET LIPS saying
"PUSH IT MORE"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

A Criminal Broke Into Bed Room ,Tied Up Husband & Wife ,

Kissed Wife's Ear & Went 2 Bathroom..

Husband: Satisfy Him Or He Will Kill Us ,Be Strong I LOVE YOU.

Wife: He Did't Kiss Me , He Whispered In My Ear That He's Gay ,Needs Vaseline I Told Him Its In The Bathroom . So Be Strong I Love U Too

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Q. What’s the difference between a woman and a fridge?

A. A fridge doesn’t fart when you pull your meat out. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute?

A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Q. What is a Zebra?

A. 26 sizes larger than an “A” bra. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Q:
What is the difference between a woman
in church and a woman in a bathtub. . . ?

Ans:
One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her
hole. . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

C The Difference . . .

A Man Talks To A Woman So That He Can Sleep With Her

But

A Woman Sleeps With A Man So That She Can Talk To Him. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Why do hunters make the best lovers?

Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat
what they shoot..... ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Sardar & A Girl Were Having Sex. . . Suddenly Sardar Asks : Do U Have AIDS ?
Girl: No
Sardar: Thank God !
Don’t Want To Get That Again . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Macher k katney sy aids q nahi hota?

Student:
Miss macher katt ta hy, chodta thori hy...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Do sardar jinhone ne kabhi train nahi dekhi thi wo apni behan ko sasural se mayke le ja rahe thay...
Behan ko susu aaya wo jhadiyo me beth gai...
itne me train aa gai sardar bola..
“bhen di fuddi kinni vaddi“
behan khadi ho ke “veera tu kado dekh liti...“

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

What’s The Difference Between
Lux
&
Other
Beauty Soaps ?

Koi Farq Nahi Hai . . .
Marni Tou Aap Ne MUTH Hii Hai
Konsa Muun Dhona Hai . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Arz Kia Hy

Zameen Se Aasman Tak
Aasman Se Zameen Tak

Zameen Se Aasman Tak
Aasman Se Zameen Tak

Hawa Hi Hawa Hai

Mera LUND Teri Har Beemari Ki Dawa Hai . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Aasman Par Jitne Sitaare Hyn
(Wah Wah)

Aankhom Main Jitne Ishare Hyn
(Wah Wah)

Samandar K Jtne Kinare Hyn
(Wah Wah)

Utne Hii Keeray Gaand Me Tumhare Hyn
( AB Kro Wah Wah )

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Newly married gals frnd says : " 4 weeks Honeymoon in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada.
Wo0ooooww... .what have u seen in places".
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hmmmm....

Ceiling Fans......

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

\. . . ToDaYz ThOuGhT . . ./

TheRe MaY Be SomeThInG BeTtEr ThAn SEX

And

SoMeThInG WoRsE tHaN SEX

But

ThErE's NoThInG ExAcTlY LiKe SEX . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

1ST MAN: HOW IS YOUR SEX LIFE?

2ND MAN: DO IT MONDAY TO FRIDAY

1ST MAN: WHAT ABOUT WEEKENDS?

2ND MAN: ON WEEKENDS I AM AT HOME! RELAXING WITH MY WIFE. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Girl During Sex : Mere Moo Main Ungli Daalo , Meri gaand Main Ungli Daalo , Meri Choot Main Ungli Daalo

Boy : Behan Ki Lori ! Yeh Lund Kiaa JOKE Parhnay Walay Ki Gand Main Daalon ? ?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

An Elephant raped a girl , she went to a doctor for examination . Doc said Elephant has 3 inches penis , but y ur ass is 10 inches wide opened? She replied " that bastard elephant fingered me first '' ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Why do women wear panty?
.
.
.
Bcause State law says all the man-holes must be covered
when not in use. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Do u know what is common between Shoe laces and smart men?

no

ANSWER:
They keep in touch with
severel holes
simultaneously.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

MeN ALWAYS sAy "I Love You"
tO GIRLS bUt!!
wAt True meAning oF thiS?
"I" Am
"L"ooking
"O"ut 4
"V"aginal
"E"ntry
"Y"ou mUst Take
"O"ff uR
"U"nderwear. .!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

once santa went to bar ..there he met a girl
santa asked her name?
girl said my name is CARMEN ......because i like car and men..
...then girl asked santa whats his name...
he said ....daaru boob singh pussy . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Grammar teacher: "David daaru nahi peeta hai", Is sentence main 'David' kya hai . . . ? ?

Student: Madam, David Chutiya hai . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Yoon Honton Se Hont Mila Lena...

Phir Haath Mumo'n Pe Pher Dena..

Phir Choot Ka Paani Nikaal Dena...

Kuch Apne Lund Tu Dikha Dena

Kuch Meri Choot Ko Dekh Lena..

Kuch Choot Ko Bhi Chaat Lena

Kuch Hum Bhi Lund Ko Chosen Ge

Kuch Apni Pyas Bujha Lena

Kuch Humari Pyas Bharha Dena

Kuch Choot Main Lund Daal Dena

Aur Choot Main Khoob Ghuma Dena

Phir Main Bhi Lund Pe Bethoon Gi

Aur khoob Chudai karwaoon Gi

Aur Apni Piays Bujhaoon Gi

Aur Tumhari Pyas Barhaon Gi

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Which is the Worst moment in Ur life?

Imagine,
When U are giving lip to lip kiss 2 Ur girl friend and suddenly she vomits in Ur mouth.!
Just imagine!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

1 hasband & wife were going in the forest,

Husband bola darling apni bra tight karlo,

Wife: Q

Husband: suna hai aj kal cheeta bhi peeta hai.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Sardar Ko Teesri Bar Bachi Hui, To Usne Elaan Kia K Mera Beta Peda Hua Hai,
=
Dost Ne Dekha To Kaha K Ye Larki Hai,
=
Sardar Bola "Ay Munda Maa Pe Gaya Ay" :-)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Professor : What Does that "V" on Your T-Shirt Stand for?
College Girl : "Virgin".
Professor : R you a Virgin?
College Girl : Well, it's a 5 Years Old TShirt...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Is Sawal Ka Jawab Jo Nahi Dega Wo GANDO

2 Bhai Thay
1 Ka Naam Muun Main Loonga

2 Ka Gand Main Loonga

Muun Main Loonga Mar Gaya Tou Kon Bacha ?
jaldi jawab do

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Teacher To A Student :
''Table par ink kisne girai hai. . .? ''
Isko punjabi me translate ker k batao

Student :
Eh kine maa chudai hai.. ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Sardar Ka Beta 5th Class Mai Fail Huwa to
4th Mai Wapis Aaya...
4th Mai Fail to 3rd Mai aur 3rd Se 2nd...

Sardar Biwi Se Bola Panty Tight Karle Wo
Wapas Aa Raha Hai ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Cinema mein film dekhte howe 1 aurat ka bacha ronay laga
Peeche se awaz aai: isko munh mein doodh daalo
Aurat ka shohar bola: oay kon hey oay samne aa
Peeche se phir awaz aai: dosra iske munh mein daalo

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Yesterday my LUN had an accident wid a PHUDDI & admitted to CHOOT hospital near TOPA chowk
Dr TATTA said: matter is serious GAND needed
So plz donate ur GAND

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

80yrs old man to dr:meri 20 saal ki wife pregnant hey

dr: 1 story suno
1 shikari shikar pe jate howe jaldi mein gun ki jaga umbrella le gya
jungle mein uske samne lion aa gya
usne umbrella ka handle khaincha aur fire kar diya aur lion mar gya

old man:impossible kisi aur ne mara hoga

dr:exactly ;-)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

"Arz Kia Hai"
Jan-e-Mann Mujhe Maar Daalo,
Zara Meri Paint Me Haath Dalo,
Lamba Lage To Kaat Dalo,
Mota Lagay To Chaat Dalo,
Acha Lagay To Apni Gaand Mein Dalo...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Kothay Par Police Ne Chapa Mara, Tumam Logo Ko Line Me Khara Kiya, Waha Se 1 Boorhi Aurat Guzri, Usne Line Me 1 Larki Se Pocha
Yaha Kya Ho Raha Hy?
Larki: AaM Bant Rahe Hain
Boorhi B Line Me Lag Gai, Jab Us Ka Number Aaya To Police Ne Kaha AMMa Aap B?
Boorhi: Mun Me Daant Nahi To Kya Hua Choos To Sakti Hon na...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Kid saw his mom messing with make up on her face & she said: Shit. when Kid asked: What is Shit ? Mom: it is 2nd word for Makeup.

then he saw his sister talking on phone abt Condoms. Kid asked her: what is a Condom ? Sister: Its 2nd word for Clothes.

Then Kid saw his father was cutting a chicken. when he cuts his finger & said Fuck, Kid asked: what is fuck ? Father: its 2nd word for Cutting.

Suddenly door bell rang Kid opened the door & his grandma came in & asked: where is every1 ?

Kid: Mom is upstairs putting shit on her face, Sister is putting condoms on & Daddy is Fucking the Chicken...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

A Kid In A Bus Sitting Behind Driver Starts Saying

Kid : If My Dad Was A Bull And My Mom A Cow I'd Be A little Bull

Driver Got Mad At Noisy Kid , Kid Continues

Kid : If My Dad Was An Elephant And Mom A Girl Elephant So I Would Be A Little Elephant

Kid Goes On And On With Many Animal Names.When Driver Gets Angry And Said

Driver : If You Father Was GAY And Your Mother Was A Prostitute??

Kid Smiles And Said : I Would Be A BUS DRIVER

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

KID : DAD MUJHE SCHOOL JAANE K LIYE CYCLE CHAAHIYE.... .

DAD : KYAA TERA LUNND TERI GAAND TAK PAHONCHTA HAI....???

KID : NAHI DAD..!

DAD : JIS DIN PAHONCHEGA TAB AANA....ABHI NAHI...!!!

AFTER FEW YEARS....... ..

KID : DAD MUJHE COLLEGE JAANE K LIYE BIKE CHAAHIYE.... !

DAD :KYAA TERA LUNND TERI GAAND TAK PAHONCHTA HAI....???

KID HAPPILY : HAAAN-HAAAN DAD AB POHONCHTA HAI......!!

DAD : "TO MAADARCHOD.. ..APNI MAAR NA MERI GAAND KYUN MAARTA HAI...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Young Malkin & Pappu Naukar were kidnapped & Raped by Robbers..,
Malik 2 Naukar :- SHAKAL DEKHI THI UN LOGO KI ?
Naukar :- Malkin se pucho ,Muje to Ulta Letaya tha ...!!!!

Non Veg. Jokes Part - 13

2008-04-29T05:27:00.003-07:00

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Larkey waley larki dekhnay gaye.... Sasur: Beti tumhien chaey aati hai? Larki sharma k: Mujhe abhi DOODH nahi aata Chaey kahan se aaeygi.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Jo Kuch Mila Girls ko mila ..Lips milay chuswaanay ko..Boobs Milay dabwanay ko.Choot mili Chudwanay ko, Tujhe or mujhe kia mila sirf land woh bhi hilane ko.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

A SAD STORY : A Little boy was so Jealous of his new born Brother dat he put Poison on d Nipple of his mom while she was Asleep..
Next Day Their Driver Died..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

1 Call Gal Subah Subah naha dhokar, tayaar hokar apni panty k andar Agarbatti ghuma rahi thi..

Dusri Call Gal ne pucha "Yeh Kya Kar Rahi Ho...?"

To pehli wali ne jawab diya "DUKAAN KHOLNE KA TIME HO GAYA HAI . . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

As they watched a hot love scene on a cable channel, the husband asked his wife, "Why don't you ever make love to me like that?"

"Are you kidding?" she replied. "Do you have any idea how much she gets paid to do that?!" . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Sardar wanted to fuck his gf, ashamed of his small penis he takes her to a dark place and takes out his penis and gives it in her hand ....
GF : THANKS !!!! But i dont smoke....... .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Paisa gaand ki tarah hota hey, hota subke pas hey lekin dena koi nahi chahta
Aur
Mashwara lun ki tarah hota hey dena sub chahte hein lekin lena koi nahi chahta.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

A sardar asked his girlfriend "kia tumhare underwear mein hole hey?
Girlfriend replied "no"
Sardar "to phir taangain kahan se dalti ho?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

How wud u tell ur galfriend if u want to go to toilet on 1st date.
Dear I've to go to shake hands with my close friend with whom I'm going to introduce u later

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Husband Condom Dekhkar WIFE Ko KEHTHA Hai,
Ye KACHRA Yaha Kyu PADA Hai. . . ?

WIFE:Aapke 2 DOSTH Aaye They, Mujhe KELA Khila Kar
CHILKA Yahi Chorh gaye . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Pandit Phati Dhoti Pehen k Mandir Main Maatha Tekne Jhuka Tou Ek Aurat Ne "CHANDA-PETI" Samajh K Sikka Daal Dia . . .
Pandit Mur Ker Bola : Ab Ghanta Bhi Baja . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

AIDS Awarnes Slogans. . .

Cover Your Stump Before You Pump

Don't-Be-Silly! Protect Your Chilly

Dont Be A Fool, Con domize ur TOOL

Fwd 2 all careless Fuckers. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Mom found a Condom in Daughter's Bedroom
She went Straight to her and asked
What is this?
Girl replied-Toh aap kya Chahti hain mein is umr mein Maa ban Jaon?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Dosti wo patli sandas nahi jo gir kar bikhar jaati hai..
yeh tou who karak lendi hai jo dus baar pani daalne par bhi apna nishaan chorh jaati hai. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

A Newly Married Man was Standing in Front of a Mirror Naked and was Admiring his Physique..

" 2 inches more & I will be a king.. "

Suddenly the Wife Comes in and says, " 2 inches Less and you will be a Queen! "

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Lund ki kahani:

Main lund hon,meri normal height 6 inch hai,jawan larkion
ko dekh k mere mu me pani aa jata hai,larkon me meri bari
value hai,mein gand,or MU me dalne k kam aata hon,mere se
MUTH b mari jati hai.meri munpasand dress kohinor condum hai,main
msg parh raha hon . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Never Abuse Ur sincere friends..

When you see some faults in them,
Be patient n realize that..

"Ma ka Lora, Hai he Chutya Gandu ki Nasal, Barwa"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

2 Doctor Apas Me,

1st: Kal Maine Apne Patient K Sath SEX Kia..

2nd: Koi Baat Nhi, Hamari Field Mein aisa Hota Rehta He..

1st: Magar Mein JANWARON Ka Doctor Hoon. . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

1 kaam karo,
Paint utaro,,
Under wear utaro,
Gaand pe petrol dalo,
Or Aag laga do,
Jo cheez DOSTON k kaam na aayee woh rakhne ka kia FAIDA??

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Tu apni kismat aazmana chor dey,Ab to us ke naam ki Muth lagaana choor dey,Londay-Bazoo ne kar di hai ek haftey ki hartal,Ab to tu bhi gaand marana choor de.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Aik aadmi ek randi ko lund pe baitha k poochta hai..Tum din main kitna kaama leti ho?
..Ranid: 500
..Aadmi: Sach sach bataoo
..Randi: Rozi pe baithi hoon..Jhoot thori bolongi.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Frnd: Air hostess ne kyon mara?
..Pathan: O yaara uska qameez gaand main ghusa huwa tha Mainay bahir nikala to gussa kiya...Hum Samja usse bura laga to wpis ghusa diya.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Zoo main bachey ne haathi ka land dekh kar poocha..mamma yeh kia hai?
Mamma: Kuch nahi hai.
pappa:Dekha beta tumhari mama k liye yeh bhi kuch nahi hai

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

One rapiest goes to hell, Yamraj told his dasi fry him in oil. After some time yamraj aske to dasi : kyu nahi fry kiya ? Dasi : ye to chula jalane ke liye bhi jukane nahi deta.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

TEACHER: bacho wo kon c cheez hai jo munh mein nahi dalnee chahey ?
EK BACHA: galta howa BALAB .
TEACHER: wo keyon?
BACHA: kal raat mama papa se bool rahi the pehley BALAB band karo per munh mein dalon gee

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

larka baap se. papa wo kon c chez hoti hai jis k charo tarf bal hotey hai?
papa:larke ki tarf dekhne laga.
larka:papa main bataon?
papa:chup kar.
larka:papa aankh hai aap lund samaj rahe they na.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

On the wedding night Santa says: Bataao Hairan karoon ya Pareshan?
Jeeto: Dono.
He shows his tiny 1inch penis & says: Kyun hairani hui?
Jeeto: Ji Hui.
Hubby: Ab pareshan karoon?
Jeeto: Ji.
Santa: Yeh erect hai!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Shohar:- Ye lo, Sara din riksha chalaya,400 kamaya aur 350 ka tail lag gaya.
Wife:- Ye lo 1 ghanta din ka lagaya 5000 kamaya aur 1 Qatra tail ka nahi lagaya...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

SexY GirL 2 HeR BoYfrnd...

Main teri baahon mein aana chahti hun
apne lips tere lips se milana chahti hun
apne goray tan se utar k sab kapre
main tere bistar ko sajana chahti hun
tujhe apni chhati ka nazara dikha k
usey tere hathon se dabwana chahti hun
apni dono tango ko thora sa khol k
apni sharamgah mein dikhana chahti hun
meri sharamgah ko sehlana tum zuban se
aaj is ka lutf b main utana chahti hun
muje tum bistar pe le ja kar masal dalo
apna kunwara pan main torwana chati hun...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Agar

Aap

Larkiyo'n Se Hamesha Ghirey Rehna Chahte Hyn. . .

Agar Aap Chahte Hyn

K Wo Aapka "PRODUCT"

Haath Me Lekar Muunh Main Daaley. . .

Tou. . .

Paani- Puuri Ka Thela Laga Lo Yaar . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Ek Dafa Ek Chor Ek Ghar Main Chori Kerne Gaya Tou Wahan Pe Ek Aadmi Ne Usay Pakar Ker Neechey Giraya Aur Bete Ko Bola : Beta Is Ki Gaand Maar . . .

Beta Try Kerne Laga, Magar Andar Nahi Gaya Tou Wo Bola: Abba Is Ki Bohat Tyt Hai Andar Nahi Ja Raha. . .

Baap Bola: Ja Andar Se Churii La Aur Cheera Maar k Khol De

Chor Bola: Bhai G, Thuk Laa K Check Te karo . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Man 1: meri biwi bewakoof hai.. ghar mein light nahi hai aur microwave le aayi..

Man 2: meri biwi to aur bhi badi bewakoof hai. Lund nahi hai lekin purse mein condom rakhti hai...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Boy asked a girl: can we have sex?
Girl: maar jaaongi magar tumhare saath nahi karungi.
Boy: kamini.. mar sakti hai lekin kisi ki kaam nahi aa sakti?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

A hindu-muslim- Christian buy a car in partnership.
Hindu applied tilak on car,
christian put a cross,
Miya ne silencer 2 inch kaat
diya...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

On 1st night Santa uses all his power to push it in. Fails but proudly says: Too tight! But I'm happy I'm the 1st.
Bride: No ji. Others removed the panty 1st
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Malika Sherawat: I want 34 size bra

Salesman:madam i think its too small for ur breast

Malika: Its not for my breast its for my nipples. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Eik Shayer Ka Bacha Class Mai Fail Hogaya..
Tu Usne Shair Kaha..

Kismat Ki Maa Ki Chut Lora Naseeb Ka..

Her SaaL FaiL Hota Hai Bacha Gareeb Ka..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

What's the geographical definition of sex. . . ?

It's an action done by
Pol-land
into
Hol-land
between
Thai-land,
Occasionally
with a little help
from
Greece. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

After Sex For The First Tym In Life The Girl Says:

Guru G Aaj Mujhe Satya Ka Gayan Ho Gaya
Sirf COCK Bujhaye Pyaas
Baqi GAJAR
MOOLI BHUTTA
KELA
Sb Bakwaas ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Raam Laal : Thakur Sahab Gabbar Ne Bahu Ki Ijjat Luut Li Hai

Thakur: Tou ? ? ?

Raam Laal : ahu Pooch Rahi Hai Gabbar Se Badla Lena Hai Ya Payment. . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

A Little Girl Askd A Call Girl : Aunty U Have Car, Bunglow And Big Bank Balance . . .
What’s Ur Bussines . . .

Call Girl: Bas Ek Chota Sa "Hole Sale’ Ka Business Hai. . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Girl 2 Rikshaw Wala : Kion BHaiya Jayega . . . ? ? ?

Rikshaw Wala : Bilkul Jayega Madam Abhi Tou Greace Laga K Khara Kia Hy

Girl: Tou Fir Ghuma K Peeche Le Lo . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Maine Us Se Naam Jo Poocha

Us Ne Badnaam Likh Bheja

Maine Poocha Tere Baal Kaise Hain

Us Ne Jhanto'n Ki Dukaan Likh Bheja

Maine Poocha Tere Boobs Kaise Hain

Us Ne Doodh Ki Dukaan Likh Bheja

Maine Poocha Teri Gaand Kaisi Hai

Us Ne Factory Godaam Likh Bheja

Maine Poocha Kabhi Lun Dekha Hai

Us Ne Tera Hi Naam Likh Bheja . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Railway Warning Board

Rail Ki Patri Par Beth Ker Tatti Na Karain . . .
Aap Roz Haath Se Gaand Dhote Hain . . . Kisi Din Gaand Se Haath Dho Bethenge . . .----------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

A Dentist was removing a tooth of a lady. . .
He said: "Mam you are holding my balls"
She said," I know, its just to remind you that we are not going to hurt each other". . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Tabiyat Main Ek Ajeeb Sa Hejan Hai

Mushkil Main Meri Ye Jaan Hai

Samajh K Tu Ek Pathan Hai

"MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI"

Ek Qatra Bhi Na Chorna

Laga De Jitni Bhi Jaan Hai

"MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI"

Teri Dhaar Main Kia Jaan Hai

Teri Dhaar Ki Kia Shaan Hai

"MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI"

Chokeedar Se Kia Darna

Wo Bhi Tou Ek Pathan Hai

"MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI"

Bas Ker De Pathan K

Ab Sailaab Ka Imkaan Hai

"MOOT DE GALI SUNSAAN HAI"........ ..

Non Veg. Jokes Part - 12

2008-04-29T05:27:00.002-07:00

Aati thi....

Jati Thi,,,,

Hasti thi

Hasati thi

Muskurati thi..

Dekhti thi

Dekhati thi

Aaj pata chala sali chutiya banati thi....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Whose mother had the most painful delivery?
Guess?
Still thinking...
SUNNY DEOL Why?
He himself said - "maiy nikla gadi lay kay"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Samandar k Kinaray Bethay hain Kabhi tu koi Lehar ayegi.
kismat Badlay na Badlay Gaand tu Dhul jayegi......
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

a girl sitting in examination hall with sardar ji
girl: sardar ji main tuwadi nakal maar laan?
sadar ji:ahoo to meri nakal maar lay fair main teri asal maran ga

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

there r 2 frnds,, one is married and other is going to be married...
the second one is confused and asked his married frnd tht i don't know about fucking, so how would i manage,,
his friends gives him a mobile and says tht he will give instruction to him ,,,
at the wedding night,, he asked his frnd wht to do?
frnd: reveal ghunghat
he: ok, then
frnd: take off her n ur clothes ...
he: (after sometime) ok, then
frnd: now, there is 1 thing which both u n me have,, put inside in her pussy ...
he: (thinks a while) and put his mobile inside... ;)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

what is the real tradgedy of film sholay?
Ek to thakur ki biwi nahi thee upper se gubbar ne uske haath kaat diye ;)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

MUM: Didn't I tell you if a stranger touches your breast say "DON'T". And if he touches your pussy say STOP!

GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I told him DON'T STOP CARRY ON !!!!"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Girl while reporting abt her rape 2 policeman who was a sardar. She started 1 of them dragg me down the other1 grabbed my left boob & 3rd on my right boob, 1st one started 2 suck them, then they parted my legs &...policemen shouted..... oye shut up oye.....to aithay apnay rape di report likwan aai hai ya phir mera lun khara karwan aai hai.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

A Rocket & a Plane meet after ages.
Plane says: "Yaar rocket, tu itni tez raftaar se kaise udh jate ho?"
Rocket replies "Yeh toh wohi jaane jis ke gand main AAG lagi ho...."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

A 50 years old man fucked an 90 years old woman. He starts suckung her breasts, after 10 min the man got died, police came and make postmartum report, in report it was written that the date of the milk was xpired.....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

an arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
you name pls : "abdul aziz"
sex : "six times a week!!"
no, no, I mean male or female.
"doesn't matters male or female, sometimes even camel!!!"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

HOW DOES A CRICKET COMMENTATOR DESCRIBES A NAKED WOMAN?
NO COVER
NO EXTRA COVER
NO SLIP
2 SILLY POINTS
2 FINE LEGS
AND A DEEP GULLY
LITTLE GRASS ON THE PITCH

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

a man carrying 3 babies & travelling in a train.....A Women sitting near him inquired.... ...R these sweeties belongs 2 u?.....MAN : no mam i work in a condom factory n these r customerz complainz... ..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Advantages of breast milk?
A) No need to boil.
B) Cat can't steal it.
C) Available in attractive containers.
D) Popular in all age groups.
E) Ek Pee Ek Free.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

An Army Guy Got Married..... On 1st Night he realizes tht his Wife Haveing periods..... He telegrams to Head Office.....Red alert on front Extend Leave.....Reply From Head Office.....Attack from back & report.....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Jab Gaber paiyda hua tu us ki maa ney gaber ko thaper kyun mara????????

cuz he asked

"KITNEY AADMI THEY !!" ;)

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

If u don't smoke, don't drink, don't have girl friend, don't fuck, don't play cards, then visit our website:
www.paida_kyun_ hua_chutia. com

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

ek sardarji ko ekdin office jaaney mein der ho gayee, usne bus stop jaakar dekha ki ek bus us hi waqt bus stop chhorke jaa raha tha. sardaarji bus ke peeche peeche bhaagne laga, aur driver ko chilla chilla kar kehne laga "arrey bus roko , bus roko". firbhi driver ney bus nahin roka. par kuchh second baad sardaarji ney bus pakar liya.
sardar 2 driver >> oy yaar, yeh bus teri maa lagti hain??
driver >> nahin to !!
sardar >> teri behan lagti hain?
driver >> nahin to !!
sardar >> to phir teri biwi lagti hogi !!
driver >> arrey nahin yaar ! kyon?
sardar >> abbe saaley, to phir charne kyon nahin deta??????
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Zandu Balm,Zandu Balm,Gote karde Jam,Lund ki Khujli Dur Kare,Chut ko De Aaram,Zandu Balm, Zandu Balm..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Miya aur bibi me bhayanak jhagda ho gaya.Miya gusse se titmilata hua chillaya- gaand maar doonga!!!Bibi boli:"Aage ki to sochte nahin, bus peeche pade rehte ho.."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Why women love gold more than men? Because gold has 24 carrot whereas man has only one carrot

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

In a bar 1 Guy says 2 another
"I slept wid ur mom last nite"
D whole bar was waiting 4 d other Guy's response.

He laughs & says, "Lets go home dad, U r drunk"
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

how was nisar born ?

"jawani janeman...haseen dil ruba mile jo dil jawan...NISAR hogaya "

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Doc 1- Shit i had sex with my patient,im feelin guilty.
Doc 2 - It happens in our profession,take it easy.
Doc 1 - Ya..Ya..but u see.. im a VETERNARY DOCTOR

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Nurse lost her cat.
nurse in the hospital- any 1 got a pussy,all women stood up,i mean any one seen a pussy, all men stood up.I meant any one seen my pussy, all doctors stood up.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Bahu saas ki paon daba rahi thi.GHAGHRA

upar hogaya.Bahu boli: PRANAAM,

SAAS: Kisko?

BAHU: SASURJI KI RANBHUMI AUR MERE PATI KI JANAM BHUMI KO

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

three friends discussing about AIDS
1: i m so afraid of aids that i always use condom
2: i m that afraid of sex that i even wore condom in my fingers
3: i m that afraid of aids that i dun take chance just call my neighbour and ask him to do the honors

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

3 pathano ki bvian preginent hojatin hain 3 ke 3 shartain laga rahe hote hain phela bolta hai mere bete ka 1 feet ka lund hoga..doosra bolta hai bas 1 feet ka ? mere bete ka 10 feet ka lund hoga..teessra ghuroor se khara ho ker kheta hai mere bete ka 100 feet ka lund hoga.. utne main hi 3 ke 3 ki bv ki delivery hojati hai nurse phele pathan ke pas jati hai kheti hai mubarak ho aapka beta hua uska 1 feet ka lund hai...doosre ke paas jati kheti hai mubarak ho aapka beta hua aur uska 10 feet ka lundh hai woh ghuroor karne lagta itne main nurse teesre wale ke paas jati aur kheti hai mubarak ho aapka lund hua hai thora sa bacha bhi laga hua hai lol
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Sardar & sardarani waiting at signal. a tapori boy comes & says "kay paji rakhel hai kay ?" sadar furiously says "Oye sale, rakhel hogi terio meri to biwi hai."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Aik sawal ka jawab YES ya NO main do ..

Kia aap ne gaand marwani chhor dia hai ..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Jake n Jill went up da hill
to fetch a pail ov water
God know wat they did there
And came bak wid a Daughter.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

For toothpaste ad they show teeth.
For hair oil they show hair.
For face cream they show face.
But for Whisper they r not showing anything, that's cheating. Jaago Grahak Jaago

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha

Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

PAK wicket keeper MOIN got married,
His wife asked y the media how Moin was on wedding night.
She said he stood behind the bed & said "AUR TEZ DALO WASIM BHAI"

2)
pakhane maine ja baitha, to tum yaad aaye
gand jab dhoyi,to tum yaad aaye
pant jab uper uthai, to laga aur hagas(shit) aayi.

3)
Ansu tere nikle, to ankhen meri ho,
Dil tera dhadke, to dhadkan meri ho,
Khuda kare dosti hamari itni gehri ho,
Baap tu bane, to mehnat meri ho
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Girl: sorry sir u can't smoke here
Customer: but i bought the cigarettes from your shop?
Girl: we also sell condom. you can't start fucking here

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Sardar ji ko police walo ne undress kar ke jungle main phaink diya.. wahan isse sab janwar dekh ke hansne lage... Sardar kaafi pareshan, qareeb ja ke aik bandar se poocha, "Oye khote dia putra..tum log mere oper hans kyun rahe ho..." bandar ne kaha, Hum hans iss liyeh rahe hain ke hum sab k dom (tail) peeche laga huaa hai, aur tumhara aage

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

ek din ek ladke ki shaadi hoti hai... usse kuch maloom nahi hota karna kia hai sohag raat ke waqt.. woh apne dosto se poochta hai kia karoon? uss ke dost kehte hai, jo woh kare, tum bhi wahi karo... Raat hoti hai, dulhan undress hoti hai, ladka bhi aisa he karta hai.. dulhan bed pe jaati hai, ladka bhi wahi karta hai.. dulhan doggy position pe layt ti hai, ladka bhi aisa karta hai.. dulhan ladke ki taraf goorti hai(ke aa ke fuck kare) ladka bhi goorne lagta hai... akher main dulhan usse kehti hai "jao galli se 2 ladke pakar ke lao, aik tujhe chodhe aik mujhe"

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

HEIGHT OF POVERTY:UR WIFE STICHING A CONDOM

HEIGHT OF INNOCENCE:A GIRL APPLYING CLEARSIL 2 HER NIPPLES THINKING THEY R PIMPLE......

HEIGHT OF UNEMPLOYMENT: A SPIDER WEB FOUND IN A PROSTITUTES PUSSY...

HEIGHT OF LAZINESS:NAKED MAN SLEEPING ON A NAKED WOMAN EXPECTING AN EARTHQUAKE 2 DO THE REST...

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

WHICH R THE 2 MOST IMPORTANT HOLES THAT GOD HAS GIVEN TO A WOMAN ?

ANS: THE NOSTRILS,SO THAT THEY CAN BREATHE WHILE THEY GIV BLOWJOBS TO MEN.

Non Veg. Jokes Part - 11

2008-04-29T05:27:00.001-07:00

Zindagi bari Udaas Hai

Mujhe Lagi Pyaas Hai

Mujhe Duniya Se Na Koi Aas Hai

Mein Uski Gaand Phardonga

Jisne Kaha K Mere JOKES Bakwas Hai

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

sardar was watching a xxx film, he saw his wife in the film who is being fucked.after the film ended he said thanks God that it was just a film.....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------

Unborn twins in the mother’s stomach saw a penis.
1st Baby: Dekh Papa aa rahe hai.
2nd: Abe stupid, ye pados wale uncle hai, papa kabhi raincoat nahi pehante.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----

A priest saw a girl removing her blouse. The priest prayed: God, please close my eyes. When he opened his eyes, the girl was naked This time he prayed God please close your eyes.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------

Boss had 2 select a secretary 4 himself.4 girls came 4 d interview. thought of a question!!
Q:what is d difference b/w 2 mouths of a girl?
1.one talks & other not
2.one is horizontol & other is vertical
3.one is hairy other is not
4.one is 4 me and other is for my boss.
Boss selected the last 1!! ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

A man on a station selling SHILAJIT KI GOLI

AAIYE MEHERBAN SUNIYE KATARDAN SHILAJIT GOLI KA CHAMATKAR
5 GOLI KA PACKET HAI 1 GOLI KA EK RUPIYA 5 GOLI KA PAACH RUPIYA
YEH GOLI BANANE KA TARIKA NEPAL KI PAHADI BANDRA KI KHADI 12 BHADVO AUR 12 RANDIYO KE PALAP SE BANIYII GOLI KA MISHRAN HAI YEH GOLI KHANE KA TARIKA ..
1 GOLI ANDAR LUND BORIBANDER
2 GOLI KHAO PHAT PHATI CHALAYOO
3 GOLI KHAOO TEN FOOT LAMBA KARO
4 GOLI KHAO 4 FOOT LAMBA KARO
5 GOLI KHAAO SEEDHA AURAT KE PAAS JAO AURAT BOLE ARE TUM CHODTA HAI KI MITTI KHODTA HAI

AAO AAO JISKO GOLI CHAIYE AAGE AAO JISKO NAHI CHAIYE AAPNI MAA CHUDAOO..... ....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Agar

Aap

Larkiyo'n Se Hamesha Ghirey Rehna Chahte Hyn. . .

Agar Aap Chahte Hyn

K Wo Aapka "PRODUCT"

Haath Me Lekar Muunh Main Daaley. . .

Tou. . .

Paani- Puuri Ka Thela Laga Lo Yaar . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Sardar used to fuck sardarni using milk as lubricant.
Later she was rushed to hospital, when the Doctor came
out of OT said, "no baby or baba, just 1kg MAWA."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Girlfriends Are Appetizers. . . . Taste Good At Any Time. . . .

Mistresses Are Tomyams. . . . Hot & Spicy Eaten Frequently. . . .

Wives Are Maggie. . . . Eaten When There's Nothing To Eat. . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Lecturer: Which comes 1st. . . "SUN Or MOON" . . . ? ? ?

Student:Obviously MOON. . . ! ! ! !

Lecturer: How. . . ?

Student : Only after
"Honey-MOON"
"SON" Will come. . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

BOY:
Larke Is Dunya Main Bohat Takleef Uthate Hain . . .

GIRL:
Nahi Larkian Bohat Takleef Uthati Hain

BOY:
Acha Wo Kaise. . . !

GIRL:
Kia Kabhi Koi Larka Pragnent Hua Hai . . . ? ?

BOY:
Nahi, Par Kabhi Kisi Larki Ka Lun Jeans Ki Zip Main Phansa Hai . . . ! ! ! ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Q.) Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A.) So men can be open minded. . . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Ye Chodan-Pur Ki Basti Hai

Yahan Choot Lund Se Sasti Hai

Jab Raat K Bara Bajte Hyn

Sab Lund Pukara Kerte Hyn

Ehsaan Kisi Ka Lete Nahi

Haatho'n Se Guzara Kerte Hyn

Jab Yaad Chooto'n Ki Aati Hai

Uth Uth K Dobara Kerte Hain . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Girl hostel me phone aaya : Reeta HAI KYA ?
Warden ne pucha :aage kya lagati hai ?
Jawab aaya - Ab to pata nahi Pehle SARSON KA TEL lagati thi..

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Bhosri Plaza Hotel
"MENU CARD"
Grilled mummay;
Achari lund;
Phuddi of the day;
Tandoori bund
Lullian sirkay waali:
Chilly choot;
Tattay mughlai;
Gori bund da halwa;
Nargisi tattay;
Phuddi pakoray;
Lund folooda;
Mard makhan naan;
Afghani gand kabab;
Daigay mammay;
Lund khara masala;
Bhosri fried rice;
Melted tutti cream;
Peeshab up;

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Q : 2 homo ladke khubsurat ladki ko dekh kar kya bolenge ???
A : yaar ladki aisi hai to uska bhai kaisa honga ???

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Lund:"Rehta hu bhai rehta hu, do taango ke beech mein rehta hoon,
jab bi chut dekhta hun to uth ke salaam karta hoon"
Chut:"Rehti hu bhai rehti hu, do taango ke beech mein rehti hu, jab
bi lund dekhti hu, muh khol kar swagat karti hun"
Jhaten:"Rehte hai bhai rehte hai,do tangon ke beech me rehte hain, chut
aur lund ke ladai mein ek do shaheed hote rehte hain

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

While Making Love . . .

Boy Says : Darling Let's Do 68 . . . ! ! !

68 . . . ! ! ! What's That. . .? Girl Asks

Boy: You Do It To Me And I'll Owe You One . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Height Of Reality. . . .

An Actress Being Fucked By A Producer Without Using A Condom. . . Saying That She Has To Play The Role Of Pragnent Lady In He Next Movie. . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

Some More Heights Of . . .

Height Of Sophistication: Sucking Nipples With A Straw. . . . .

Height Of Technology: Condom With Zip. . . .

Height Of Penetration: A Baby Girl Born Pragnant. . . .

Height Of Noise: Two Skeletons Fucking In A Tin Room. . . .

Height Of Patience: A Female Lying Naked Under A Banana Tree And Hoping For Banana To Fall In Her Pussy. . . .

Height Of Coincidence: And The Banana Fallen In. . . .

Height Of Comparison: Pissing Infront Of Niagra Fall. . .

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Son : Dad Aap Ki Pent Ki Zip Khuli Hui Hai

Dad: Aise Nahi Kehte, Bolo K Aap Ka Make-Up Box Khula Hua Hai . . .

Son: Acha. . . Aap Ka Make-Up Box Khula Hua Hai Aur Lipstick Nazar Aa Rahi hai . . . ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Tawaif: Sex Karogay? khush kar dongi!

Chungre: Haan lekin Meri Bv ki Tarah Karwao gi to karonga?

Tawaif: wo kaisay karwati hay?Chungre : Free main....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

sOme QueStIOns n AnswErS

Q. Whats the difference between 'ohh' and 'ahh'?
A. About 4 inches.

Q. What have a KFC and a women got in common?
A. Once you finished with the legs and breasts you are just left with a greasy box to chuck your bone in.

Q. Why do women have two holes so close together?
A. In case you miss.

Q. If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks in, what do you have?
A. Divorce proceedings, most likely.

Q. Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
A. They have shaky hands!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Teacher: Name the thing which carries more weight but has very less weight
Student: Your "BRA"!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Man: chalo, aaj kuch naya karein
Wife: kya kare?
Man: aaj main tumhare kaan(ear) mein daaloonga
Wife: nahi ... nahi... main behri ho gayi toh?
Man: Maderchod!!! !!!!!!ab tak goongi hui kya?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Shohar BV se susral me: Aao chudai karen BV:Na na ye mere Baap ka ghar he Shohar:Kia mere Baap ka ghar CHAKLA ha jo har raat Chudwane k liye tayar rehti ho?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Raghupati Ragav Raja Raam
Neeche Seeta Uper Raam
Seeta Boli Bas Ker Raam
Laxman Ko Bhi Kerna Hai Kaam
Kerte Kerte Ho gaye Shaam
3 Months Main nikal Aaye Hanumaan

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

What Did Amitabh Tell His Son Afer His Wedding....?

"Beta Abhi(shake) Kerne k Din gaye, Aur (Aish) Kerne K Din Aa Gaye...."

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

A Patan tried to commit suiside

Someone askd: Y r u doing this...?

Pathan: Humara Bivi Humara Dost K saath Bhaag gaya hai Aur Hum Apne dost k Bagher zinda nahi reh sakta....!!! !

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

husband hands over a 500 rs. note to wife
Husband: Humne kabhi ye kaam free mein nahi kiya

wife hands back 200 rs. n says
wife: Humne bhi jaan pehchaan walo se 300 se zyada nahi liye

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---

A girl has many dreams and wants one special person to fulfill all those dreams, but a guy has only one dream and wants all girls to fulfill his ONE dream!!!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

BOY:
BUS Aur LARKI Ek Jesey Hotey Hain,
Ek Jati Hai To Doosri Aa Jati Hai.
GIRL:
LARKEY Aur AUTO RICKSHAW Ek Jesey Hotey Hain,
Ek Bulao To Char Chaley Atey Hain.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Pathan BV K Liye Phool Laya To BV Ney Kaprey Utarey Aur Tangain Khol Kar Bistar Pay Lait Gayee!
Pathan2His Wife:
Mard Chod Ghar Main GULDAAN Nahi Hai Kia ?

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Cinema Main AURATON Key HAQOOQ Par Film Chal Rahi Thi.
1 AURAT Ney Josh Main Naara Lagaya,
Aaj Ki Aurt Kia Nahi Kar Sakti?
.
Ek Awaz Aayee,
DEEWAAR PAR PISHAAB

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Sardarni 2 Sardar:
Tussi Hazaron Main Aik Ho.
Sardar Ney Kuss Key Aik Thappar Sardarni Ko Lagaya Aur Bola:
KAMEENI BAQI 999 KON HAIN

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

1 khan Plane mian safar kar raha tha hostes ny us k zor dar thapper mara,
khan k sath jo admi betha tha wo bohat pareshan hoa khan sy bola tum ne kuch bola nahi phir tum ko kyon mara,
khan sharma k bola us ki qamiz gand main phasi hoi thi main ne nikali to usne ghusse se dekha,
main ne wapis phasa di ;->

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

When Kareena & priyanka went to KBC,
Shahrukh askd : what do u like the most in Kbc?

They both lifted their skirt n said: Fastest Finger first...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Mubarik ho

govt na tari sun li

bari tension ma tha tu

mera daikh kar gusa karta tha

ab khush ho ja

Market mein

1inch ki Lulli wala condom b aa gya hae! :P

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --

Teacher: what is common between Indra Gandhi & Sonia Gandhi?

Student: After thinking: Sir, nipples of both had been sucked by Rajive Gandhi..-

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -

1st Boy 2nd Sey:
“Main Aur Meri Girl Friend Shaadi Kar Rahey Hain”
2nd Boy:
WoW, Shadi Kab Hai?.
1st Boy:
“Meri 7-Oct Aur Uski 13-Nov Ko

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------

Dhoka Mila Jab Peyar Main,
Zindagi Main Udassi Chha Gayee,
Socha Tha Chhor Dain Gey Iss Rah Ko,
Kambakht Muhalley Main Doosri Aa Gayee.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------