Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Non Veg. Jokes Part - 4

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Dunya k 5 Asool:

1. Paani aur lan apna rasta hud banaty hain!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

2.Doodh Phantny aur gand phatny ki awaz kabhi nahi aati!!

3.Jazbat aur mummy jitna dubao utna ubharty hain!!!!!!!! !

4.Biwi aur gari kisi ko na do..hamesha chud ker wapis mily gi!

5.sSanp aur phudi jahan mily mar do!!!!!!!!!! !!
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"Ooee sardar g apni biwi ko itni dard main Hospital

ki bajaye PIZZA HUTT kioon le kar ja rahe ho??????"

SARDAR: "kioon k PIZZA HUTT main delivery FREE he"
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Teacher: Dunya main sab se halki


cheez kon si he??????

Student: "ji Lun!!"

Teacher: "Woh kaise?"

Student: Jo cheez sochny se bhi uth jye

uss se halka aur kia cheez ho sakti he"
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Zindgi ki 5 aham batain:

1.Kismat aur gand kahin bhi khul sakti he

2.Pareshani aur lulli kahin bhi khari ho sakti he

3.Ghareeb aur mummy hamesha dubaye jate hain

4.Dodh aur choot phatny ki awaz nahi hoti

5.Sanp aur choot jahan mily wahan mar do

warna koi aur mar de ga!!!!!!!!
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Sardar: "yaar meri biwi pani se bohat darti he"

Friend: "acha ! woh kaise"

Sardar: "Yaar kal main ghar aya to woh bath tub

main bhi security guard k sath bethi thi!!!!!"
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Sardar G: "Doctor sb kamzori bohat he"

Doctor: "Doodh duba ker piya kro"

Sardar G: "Doctor sb doodh to bohat zyada peeeta hun

magar woh zyada dubane nahi deti!!!!!!"
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man goes to buy condom

Salesgirl: "May i hold u penis for size?"

She orders: "give him small"

Wait!!!! "give him medium"

Wait!!!! "give him large"

SHIT!!!! "give me a tissue!!!!"
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Callgirl "Sardar g ! sx kro ge"

Sardar g "bilkul, but meri wife ki tarah kro gi"

"haan kroon gi, but woh kaise kerti he"

"moft main!!!!!!!! "
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Judge: "why did u kill ur husband"

Lady: "He called me from office....

Took me to bedroom....

Removed my cloths....

Laid me on the bed....

Spread my legs....

and said....

APRIL FOOL!!!!
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1st Kid "meri mom jadugar he"

Jab woh papa k nunu ko chooti he

to woh bara ho jata he

2nd Kid: meri mom jab papa k nunu pe bethti he

to woh gyeb ho jata he!!!!!!!!!
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A sweet girl goes to Banta shop

and said "mujhy underwear dikhao"

Banta. sharmate hoe "aaj pehan ker nahi aya!!!!"
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A boy asked his girl friend to play wd his penis

Its her first time........ .........

After sometime she asked

"wat r these drops coming out?"

Boy "khushi k aansoo hain!!!!!!!"
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Girl: I'm like Radio, My left nipple is volume
And right is tuner

Boy turns both but there is no sound!!!!!

Girl: Stupid neeechy plug kia tera baap lagaye ga...
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Bhosri Plaza Hotel

"MENU CARD"

:-grilled mummay
:-achari lun
:-phudi of the day
:-tandoori bund
:-lullian sirky wali
:-chilly chot
:-tattay mughlai
:-gori bund da halwa
:-nargasi tattay
:-phuddy pakaora
:-lun falooda
:-mard makhan naan
:-afghani gand kabab
:-daighy mummay
:-lun khara masala
:-bhosri fried rice
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A nurse comes in doctors room

Doctor asked "why is ur one boob out of ur shirt"

Nurse: these medical students never keep things at place after
use!!!!!!!!!
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YOUNGER BROTHER TO ELDER SIS: "WHY ARE MOM AND DAD IN THE ROOM FOR
THREE DAYS?"

ELDER SIS REPLIES LAUGHING: "DAD HAD ASKED ME FOT VASLINE BUT I GAVE
THEM ELFY BY MISTAKE"!!!! !
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Once all Eggs in women Pussy desided to fight against sperms. They
waited with guns in the pussy . That night no one came.. Suddenly 1
shouted : HAMLA PEACHAY SE HUA HAI
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Girl and Boy lost in a Jungle: after two days of struggle for food and
water, girl said: dear plz fuck me

Boy said Why ?

girl Said: abay kuch to ander jayega
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Boyefriend Fingering his Girlfriend

Girl: Aah .. Take Off Your ring its Hurting me...

Boy: Honey Its not my ring, its my wrist watch
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Yeh Larkiyaan Kitni Chalaak hoti hain...Apna 18 Rupiye liter walay
doodh ka thaila dikha kar... Aap Ka 180 rupiye Litre Wala Ghee Nikaal
Leti hain
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Maa: Beti Wo Larka thik Nahi Jise tu chahti Hai,
Beti : Nahi Maa wo Doctor Banega.
Usnay to meri wo bemari bhi thik kardi jo mujhe har mahine hoti theee
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Quote Of the Day

" Paisa Gand Ki tara Hota hAi .. Hota sab Ke Pass Hai par Dena Koi
NahI chatha "
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Suhagrat ke time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag ke parde
ke peeche chup jati hai.
Husband: Kya hua?
Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai
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Sabse bara TERRORIST Kaun?
AURAT!
jo Har raat ek TOWER ko gira deti hai
Sab se Bara BUILDER kaun?
MARD!
Jo agli raat phir Aus Tower ko Khara kar deta ha:)
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DR: A Penis is the greatest breakfast b'coz it has a Mushroom head, a
hotdog , 2 eggs , and cream which provides all the nutrients 2 make
women healthy.
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Girl Asked Plastic surgeon 2 make another hole near her ass
surgeon was surprised and asked why?
girl: Business is gud so opening a new branch "
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Sardar Ne Baitay Ko Muth Martay dekha tu Uski Shadi Kar di .. 2 din
baad pucha ,ab tu sab theek ha ?

Beta: Kya khak theek hai 5 minute main hi uska hath thak jata ha
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Marzi se ho sex tu paap nahi hota

Kunwari se ho tu mood kharab nahi hota

condom zarur lagana mere dost kyunke us time

LORAY ke Pass DAMAGH nahi hota
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A Girl after talking Sardar's dick in her mouth , 1000 nikal warna
kaat lungi

sardar : 500 mujhe de warna peeshaab kar donga
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Husband: Shadi k baad zindagi kutte jaisi ho gayi hai

Wife: Kutte se kya barabari karoge , woh to 1 ghenta phasa k rakhta
hai tumhari to 1 min main gand phat jati ha
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Husband: Begum Neeand Nahi aa rahi Sex Ho Jaye?

Wife: Madarchood Meri choot k andar teri maa lori de rahi hai jo tujhe
neeand a jaye gi?
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A 75 Years Old Man talking to his penis

We were born togather , grown up togather , enjoyed life togather ,
Then why did u die before me?
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Teacher ne pocha Aisi Konsi cheez hai jisay tum log dekh sakte ho par
pakar nai sakte?

student" MADAM APP KE MAMAY
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Interview:Sardar g batao Konsi cheez tez chalti hai aur jis k 4 payen
hain

Sardar: CAR

Interviewer: Galat, Honda Car Ok next

Woh Kia hai jis k 2 payen hain aur bohat tez chalti hai

Sardar: Motor Cycle

Interviewer : Galat Yamaha Motor Cycle

Now sardar went mad aur bola Interview gaya bhosray main ab mere sawal
ka jawab do

Sardar : Idher baal Udhar baal Beach main chaid

Interviewer : CHOOT

sardar: Nahi Galat " TERI MAA KI CHOOT '
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Hasband raat ko wife ko kar raha tha,kartai kartai papo ki ankh khol
gai papo apni maa ko dekh kar wash rööm main chala gaya Muth marnai
laga baap naydekha to poucha kya kar rahai ho papu; apna kam khud
karta hon kisi ke maa nahi chodta.
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Reena-'What is difference between Boys & Girls?' Tina-'Boys R
naughty,We R Beauty.They R Lyer,We R Fire.They've chest,We've
Breast.They' ve Muscle,we've nipples.they' ve night fall,we've 2 big
balls.they've a pole,we've a big hole.they can fight, we can bite.they
can fuk,we can suck.
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Kabhi tu lee hogi suraj ne chand ki,
Tabhi tu chand main daag hai,
Mumkin hai chand ne dubara nahi dee hogi,
Tabhi tu suraj main aag hai.
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Baluchi: Hamare raigistan mein 'khushamdid' bolo to vapis awaz aati
hai ...amdid...amdid. Pathan: khocha, hamare paharo mein 'i luv u' bolo
to vapis awaz aata hai ..luv u...luv u.Punjabi: Ae keri gal hai paa
ji. Saday pind di gali vich awaz maro 'teri maa di', te vapas awaz
aandi hai 'teri pehn di'..
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Raat k 2 bajay bahoo k kamray se aik aadmi nikla aur bhaag gya..

Saas ne dekha lekin kuch na kaha
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
kyon k saas bhee kabhee bahu thee!
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Qissa aik Chudai ka.

Pehlay gaand pe kaat liya humnay.

phir phuddi ko chaat liya humnay.

Phir diya hontoun pe namkeen bhosa,

bari daer talak mammo ko choosa,

Ungli kar k paani diya nikaal,

boli wo tarap k jaldi se daal,

Josh-e-shevat main loray ko rakha choot pe,

dono haath jama diye us k doodh pe,

Zabt ka bandhan achanak toot gaya,

chudai se pehlay bahar hi chhot gaya
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Chachi to Bhatija: hum chaat ki dukan kholenge, Lekin gaahak kaise
ayenge.Bhatija to Chachi:Mein advrtsmnt karunga k '10 rupaye me Chachi
ki Chat lo'.
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Boy 2 girl ladkiyan rukhsati k waqt roti Q hain.Girl say!Abay chutiah
agar tujhay pata ho k koi tujhe ghar se dur le ja k teri gaand maray
ga to kia tu nachega?
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What is pure Hindi name of Condom??

Rubber ki Chiknai yukt Prajanan virodhak mardana Ling ki topi.
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Man gives blood 2 his Girlfriend.later on they split up & man wants
blood back.she throws a used paad 2 him & says: i wil pay u monthly ,u
bastard.
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Malang:-Beta Hamesha Apne Se Badi Ko Maa,Choti Ko Beti,Barabar Wali Ko
Bahen Maano!Boy:-Baba ji,phir ye LORA aap Hi Rakh lo,bhaang Kootnay K
Kaam aye ga...
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gal:hw many siblings u hav?
boy:m d nly 1
gal:kyun? baap me dum nehi tha kya?
boy:n how many r u?
gal:8
boy:kyun?baap ko aur koi kaam nehi tha kya?
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Ek admi jaldi jaldi ladies toilet main ghus gya, ek aurat chillaye ;u
idiot ye ladies k lye hai,Aadmi pant utaar k bola ye bhi ladies k liye
hai !!........
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