Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Non Veg. Jokes Part - 6

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4 Nuns in a que to Confess..
1st : Father, I saw a penis..
Father: don't worry child, go and wash ur eyes with the holy water.
2nd: father, I touched a Penis..
Father: don't worry child, go and wash your hands with the holy water.
Suddenly the 4th nun runs to the holy water..
Father: Hey. where are you going..?
4th nun: I wanna gargle with that holy water before the 3rd SisTer puts Her ASS in iT...

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A Gunman Stops a car and asks the Man to Masturbate..
Scared Driver obeys..
This continues for 6 times Till the driver has no energy Left..
Gunman says. "Now, give Lift to my DaughTer

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Lady sends Panties to dhobi for washing but the stains didn't go..
So, the lady sends a note to the dhobi which reads.. "kapde theek se dhoya karo",
for which the dhobi replies.. "GAAND THEEK SE DHOYA KARO...

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Wife: Whenever I sing, why do you go outside and stand..?
Husband: To Ensure that our neighbours don't think that I am fucking you forcibly...

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Song from Movie Machis...
Chunni Leke Soti Thi Kamaal Lagti Thi...
"Lo KarLo BaaT.. Sirf Chunni Leke Soyegi ToU KamaaL hE LaGeGi Na..."

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Man: Behanji, mere biwi k liye eik AchA sa BRA Dikhaana...
Woman: Size kya hai..?
Man: Pakdo Tou AnDa.. auR ChoDo Tou OmLette...

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AsLi hero kaun..?
Jo chemist shop mein jaake sabhi BranDs k CondoM Nikaalne k baad ek select karey..
Aur chemist se poochE...
.
.
.
TRIAL ROOM KAHA HAI ???

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A toilet is like a commnunity meeting.
People come with lot of pressure, sit, create lot of noise and
ultimately DROP THE MATTER...!

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1st Lady: Did you know that lions have sex 4 to 6 times in one night..?
2nd Lady: Oh no, I just joined the Rotary club, i should have joined the Lion's Club...

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Gabbar: Basanti Potty Ker
Veero: Nahi Basanti In Kutton K Saamne Potty Mat Kerna
Ye Tujhe Paani Nahi Denge Aur Teri Gaand Mujh Se Chatwayenge .....

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Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her dat� "I m HaVing Sex Wid UrBest Friend �."

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Memon weekly chaklay ja k rate malum karta tha....
Dost:Jab tu kuch kerta nahi hay to rate kyun puchta hay...???
Memon:Check kerta hun k biwi mehengi tou nahi per rahi.......

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Chidambaram asks a Rand: Kitna leti ho..?
Rand:Aage se Rs 200 piche se Rs 220.
Chiddu: piche ka zyada kyu?
Rand:10 takka aapka TURNOVER Tax.

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Khobsurti Aishwariya Pe Khatam

Acting Shahrukh Pe Khatam

Singing Lata Pe Khatam

Bharam Munna Bhai Pe Khatam

Orr Aap " MUTH " Mar Mar K Khatam

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A Scientist has Invented a New Bra .. Which Stop Boons From Bouncing While Running & Does'nt Show Nipples When Wet .
DONT WORRY
The BASTARAD HAS BEEN KILLED.

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Interviewer: aap kisi larki mein sab se pehle kya dekhte hain?
Sardar: O..ji..depend karta hai k wo aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai.....

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What's d heights of tension?

When U Get 2 C Cleavage of Sexy Teacher Sitting Right In front of U,
During Last 5 Minutes Of Exam & U Got 2 Write a Lot To Pass..... ;->

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Aaloo lo
Bhindi lo
Bengan lo

Gobi lo
Kadu lo
Kele lo
Tamatar lo
Karele lo

Jo marzi lo
Bund tuhadi hai...... ;->

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Prostitute: doc, my hole is too big.
Doctor looks into the hole & says: Oh My GODNESS...GODNESS. .. GODNESS...
Prostitute: Why are you repeating the words ???
Doctor: It was an ECHO! ..... ;->

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There Is A Nerve Which connectes ur Asshole To ur Eyes Called Anal Optic Nerve ,,
Don't Believe ???
Pull A Hair From Ur Ass Hole & See Tear Coming From Ur Eyes ...

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Patle Patle Chotron Ko Hum Phula Dege.
Gol Gol Mumoon ko HumDaba Dege.
Ap Hamara 1 Bar Le Ke To Dekho
Chod Chod Ke Apki Gand Sujha DEGE....

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Super thought for the nyt .. -
"Love is Very Deep.. But Sex Has To Go Only A Few Inches"

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Fuck is easy,
f@#k is funny,
anybody fuck for money,
if you think that fuck is funny,
fuck yourself and safe the money!

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Lady Patient: Doctor I can't take off my clothes for the check up becuz I am too shy.
Doctor: No Problem! I shall put the lights out.
Lady patient (after taking the clothes off): Doctor! Where am I supposed to hang them?
Doctor: On the hook behind you where I hung mine!

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Man To Pathan : Have you ever Fucked your girlfriend in the other hole?
Pathan : Are you mad? She"ll get pregnant ......... ;->

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Ye Hafta Kaisa Guzre Ga....
Choootyape K Kaamo'n Me Dhyan Rahega
Lund Pe Pakar Dheeli Rahegi
Choot k Darshan Bohat Mushkil Hain
Aur Larki Cherne Se Guraiz Karen
Q k Aap Ki Gand Phatne K Imkaan Hai
Larki K Bhai Se .... ;->

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A gy Walk Into A Local Pharmacy & Walks Up To The Counter Where Lady Pharmacists Is Filling Preception
When She Finally Gets Around To Him
He Sys : I'd Likt 99 Condom Plz
Lady Pharmacist Suptises & Says : FUCK MEE...!!!
Boy Replies: Ok, Make It 100 .... ;->
ThaT's The Spirit ....

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Keera mat maro,
Makora mat maro, Makkhi mat maro,
Marna hi hai to ?
Muth maro
pap nahi lagega..... Jai muth .

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Teacher:Laden ki5 biwiya or20 bache,Lalu ki1 biwi or9 bache to batao
in dono me se koun achha?
Baccha:score to laden ka jyada hai par
average lalu ka achaa hai......... . ;->

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Why are condoms only sold in packets of 3 and 12?
Because 3 are for young ppl like me (morning,afternoon, night)
n 12 for old ppl ,like u Jan,feb,mar, apr,.... ;->

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Boss To Secretory : Book My Ticket For London ....
Aur Suno Mera Naam "D.K.BOSE" Likhwana ...???
Werna Airport Pe Mera Naam "BOSE.D.K" Announce Hota Hai .....

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Can u Repeat This Fast .....
"Chandu K Chacha Ne Chandu Ki Chachi Ki Choot Chaati, Tou Chandu Ki Chachi Chillayi, Chutiye Choot Chatna Chor Aur Condom Charha K Chod " ;->

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Raat K Andhere Main
Sardar: Ye Condom Itna Chota Aur Sakht Kion Hai...???
Wife: O Bina Dimag K Janwar... Wo Bachay K Doodh Peenay Ka Nip[ple Hai
Utaa Usay ..... ;->

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Gabbar-Ye gaand mujhe de de thakur!!
THAKUR- Dekh gabbar,haath tak to theek tha,
magar " BUND PANGA "mujhe pasand nahin....... ..!!! ;->

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INDIA KI REET... Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR... Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR... Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... aur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar

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A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce themselves with name and hobby.
She said, Lets start with the boys first.
Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: My name is John, and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Teacher was confused to listen but said, Interesting. Well, Ok. Infact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially a child in each of us. So its ok John.
Yes next.
Second boy: Myself Peter and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Teacher now got surprised and said, Good. I like the spirit of supporting a friend. Ok next.
Third boy: Im Smith and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Teacher: Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next.
This continues...
and the last boy stands up Im Harry and my hobby is to see "bubble" in the bathtub.
Exhausted, the teacher said, I dont think I will be able to teach un-grown boys for long.
Anyway, now the girls please.
First girl: Im Julie and my hobby is to see birds.
Teacher: Good. At last I got something different.
Ok next.
Second girl: Im Ruby and I like to collect perfumes.
Teacher Now its like educated grown up girls. Ok next.
You sweet girl; Yes you...
Most beautiful girl of the class: Mam, my name is BUBBLE , and my hobby is to take bath three times a day.

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Priest Was Rubbing Nun's Thigh,Nun:"Plz Read Bible Verse 89 "
Priest Ashamed,Apologises Goes Home.Read Bible Verse 89.
It Reads:" Go Higher To Find Glory ".

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Science teacher:agar kisi ladki ko mirgi ka attack ho to use lambe time tak kiss karo isse wo thik ho jayegi.
Student:par sir use attack kaise dilaya jaye?.

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Chinkoo Finkkoo Antar Mantar
Pichoo Fishoo Shoof ....!!!

Kuch Mehsoos Hua .....????
Nahi na .... !!!!

Jadugar Ne Bhi Yahi Bataya Tha K
Ye Jadu Gaandu Pe Asar Nahi Kerta....

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What's NasBandi...? ?
Jab Aap Ki Aadat Ho Gandi
Peetay Ho Daaru Thandi
Jaate Ho Heera Mandi
Uthate Ho Dandi
Phir CHodte Ho Randi
Tab Kerni Hoti Hai Nasbandi.... .. ;->

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Girl: Doctor Me Jab Bhi Su-Su Karti Hoon Tou
4 Dhaar Nikalti Hai
After Chcking Doctor Said: 4 Dhaar Hi Niklengi,
Andar Kisi Ki Pent Ka Button Phansa Hua Hai ...... ;->

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Boy: Teri Phuddi De Har Zakhm Te MEra Naa Hona,
Mera Kuj Nahi Jana
Tera Hi Naam Badnaam Hona Hai
Girl: Mere Pra V Pehle Menu Hi Marenge
Kanjran Hans Na
Bhund Te Teri Vi Pharainge.. ;->

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Student: Miss Choot Aur Chooter Me Kia Farq Hota Hai....???
Miss:Beta, Jis Jaga Insan Ka Lund Jaye Wo Choot Hoti Hai.....
Aur Jis Jaga Pathan Ka Lund Jaye Wo Chootar .... ;->

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Q: What's The Difference Between A Pay Check And Ur Dick ...???
A: You Dont Have To Beg A Woman To Blow Your Check...
But To Blow Your Dick U Have To .... ;->

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Wo Aaye Na Aaye Humare Loray Se ...
Wo Kare Intizar Humare Loray Se ...
Tum Se Larki Na CHUD Saki Gando
Humne Khode PAHAR Loray Se..

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Sardar : Jadugar Se : Mujhe Jado Dikhao ...
Jadugar: Apni Pent Utar K Jhuko ...
Jadugar: Tumhain Apni Gand Me Ungli Mehsoos Hui
Sardar: Haan
Jadugar: Lekin Mere Haath Tou Ye Rahe.... ;->

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Master To Choto Sardar: Eh Dus K Hath Wich Kinian Ungliyan Hudain Ne...???
Choto: Sir 6 hundian Ne...
Master : Oye Behachod, Tenu Kinni Vari Dasa Hai K Kache Ch Hath Pa K Unglian Na Gina Ker.... ;->

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