------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wants some. . .
she asked: "How hard is it?"
he replies: "About as hard as my dick"
To which She Replies: "OK, then pour me some!". . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Arz Kia Hai. . . ! ! !
Choot Ki Chahat Mein Sara Chaman Jala Dala
Wah Wah
Chut Ki Chahat Mein Saara Chaman Jala Dala
Kia Kehne . . .
Aisa Choda Aisa Choda K Choot Ko Kamaan Bana Dala. . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Main Teri Aankh Se Aujhal Ho Jaon Ga
Duur Bohat Fizao'n Main Kho
Meri Yado'n Se Lipat Ker
Jab
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A Sardar Named Surinder 'G.A.A.N.D.U'
Goes To An Advocate To Get His Name Changed.
As He Had Been Teased For It His Whole Life.
Advocate: O.K. Can Be Done.
What Would You Like
Sardar ( After Much Thinking) : GURINDER 'G.A.A.N.D.U' . . . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
A Man Is In A Hotel Lobby , he Turns 2 goto the front desk , he accidently bumps into a woman beside him and as he does , his elbow goes into her breast .
The man turns 2 her n says , madam if
she replies , If
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Strongest Musle In a man Is TONGUE.
It Can Raise A Woman's Legs With Just One Lick
Lightest muscle In a Man is PENIS.
It Can be Raised By a Woman's Smile
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Sookhe Kapre Dekh Ker Sasur Ne Bahoo Se Poocha : Ye Kala Kapra Kis Ka Hai
Baho : Ye Meri Penty Hai
Sasur: Kabhi Pehne Huey Tou Nahi Dekha . . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Chaat Wala : Ek MinuTe. . .
Larki: Jaldi Se Meri Chaat Period Start Hone Wala Hai . . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Sau (100) Kamata Hoon
Tum Jaisi Larkion Ko Apne Lund Pe Bithata Hoon. . .
GIRL:
Sau Kamata Hai
25rs Kya Apni Gaand Mara Ke Lata Hai. . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Phudion Ki Meeting Me Phudi Ne Masla Uthaya
Is Muth Ne Tou Humara Maza Kharab Karwaya
Pehle Tou Chud'ti Thi'n Hum Foladi Lund Se
Ab To Beemar Lund Hi Hai Apna Sarmaya
MUTH NA-MaNZOOR
MUTH NA-MaNZOOR
Sub Phudio'n Ne Mil K
Phudio'n Ki Sadar Ne Sadar Musharraf Ki B.v Ko Phone Lagaya
B.v Ne Musharraf Sahab Ko Samajhaya
Is Liye Tou Musharraf Sahab Ne Niswa'n Bill Manzoor Kerwaya. . . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ages Of Women . . .
1. Between the ages of 16 and 18, she is like
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like
5. After 56 she is like
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a Old Age Pathan , and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash.
The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy Scouts.
They are young and have their whole lives in front of them"
The lawyer says "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"
The Pathan Asks, "Do we have time?". . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
A GIRL WAS MASTURBATING DURING EXAM WHILE LOOKING AT THE EXAMINER'S OPENED ZIP
WHEN THE EXAMINER NOTICED, SHE MOPED HER HAND AND QUICKLY STARTED WRITING..... .
EXAMINER: WHAT WERE YOU DOING?
GIRL: JUST EATING MY LOLLY
EXAMINER: (SMELLING AND LICKING THE HAND) IT WAS STRAWBERRY FLAVORED BUT YET WAS ROTTEN . . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A Poem For
Main Thi Anjan
Ye Hai Loray Ka Ehsaan
Main Samjhi Thi Lora Hai Bejaan
Nahi Dekha Jisne Kabhi Choot Ka Medaan
Jab Khara Hua TouMain Hui Hairan
Is Harkat Ne Mujh Ko KerDia Pareshaan
Jab Andar Dala Tou Nikal Di Jaan
Hum Samajhta Thay Lora Hai Nadan
Lekin Ab Jana Hai k Lora Hai Bara Shetaan . . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Newly Young Boy To Doctor: Mujhe Koi Aisi Tarkeeb Batayen K Jis Se Sex bhi Ho Jaye Aur Pragnancy Bhi Na Ho . . . ? ? ?
Doctor: Hai Na . . . Beta Bas Peeche Se Lete Raho. . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boss Asks Secretory: "Do U Know, What's The Difference Between A Russian Salad & A Blowjob. . . ?"
Seceratory : No. . .
Boss: Great, Let's Have The Lunch First . . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
aik ashiq ne chand say poocha ke kia tu ne meray yaar jaisa koi haseen dekha hay..
chand gusay say bola... itnii door say kia lora nazar ayee ga
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
New Abbriviations
PIA = Pain In
PUMA = Press Untill Milk Arrive
ARAB = After Rape Apply Balm
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Girl And Boy Were Sitting Alone
Boy Started Touching The Girl. . .
Girl: Don't Touch Me
All Things Only After Marriage
Boy: ok
Than
Call Me When U r Married. . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Sradar Giving Speech To Deaf And Dumb Ppl. . .
Suddenly He Rubs Chest, Touches Dick And Starts Masterbating. . .
When He Was Asked, What's Tha Meaning . . . ? ? ?
He Said: It Means Ladies And Gentlemen, It Gives Me Great Pleasure. . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
ek din bai ko ghar saaf karte waqt condom mila.to usne malkin se poocha.
Bai: Ye kya hai?
Malkin: kyun tere gaoun me sex nahi karte hai kya?
Bai: karte hai par itna hi nahi ki khaal hi utar jaye........ ..
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
I Had Avised "RANI MUKHERJI" To Use "WHISPER"
But
She Didn't. . . . . . .
THEN. . . . . !!!!
THEN WHAT. . . . . ? ?
"LAAGA PENTY MEIN DAAG. . . " ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
A guy comes home from office and finds a man with his head between his wife's boobs. He asks angrily, "What the hell are you doing?"
The man replies "I'm listening to music". The husband then puts his head between his wife's boobs and says "I don't hear any music".
The man replies "Thats because you are not plugged inn" . . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
A GirL Raped another GirL..
Everyone was shocked..
why did she do that..?
when asked, she replied...
"why should boys have all the fun"...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
TEACHER: Larkiyan Kab jawan Hoti Hain?
BOYS: Jab Wo BREZAR Pehen Ne Lagti Hain!
TEACHER: Larke Kab jawan Hote Hain?
GiRLS: Jab Wo BREZAR Utaarne Lagte Hain...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Why Do The Urdu Speaking Women Have Mostly Big Breasts. . . ?
Because
Whenever They Greet Anyone. . . They Say AA..DAAAB , AA..DAAAB. . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
What Exactly The Term GOLD-LEAF Means . . .? ?
G = Get
O = One
L = Lady
D = Daily
L = leave It
E = Early
A = After
F = Fuck
So Have u Had Ur Gold Leaf Today . . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
A Man Wid His Wife & 9 Children w8ing At The Bus Stop.
A Blind Man Joins Them After A Few Minutes . . .
When The Bus Arrives They Find Tht Only Children & Wife Can Fit In The Bus . . .
So Blind Man & Husband Decided To Walk . . .
After Sum Tym Husband Says To Blnd: Why Don’t U Put A Piece Of Rubber At The End Of Ur Stick . . That Soud Driving Me Crazy. . !
Blind Man Replies: If U Wud’ve Put Rubber At The End Of
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Wife: Tumne mujhe aaj tak dya kya hai, 10 saal tak sirf Do Bacho ke he qabil rahe..!
Husbnd: Tum meri Mehnat dekho or apni Production dekho....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I would be a little bull."
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was a drunk and your mom was a prostitute?! "
The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver..!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
A criminal broke into bed room, tied up husband & wife, kissed wife's ear & went 2 bathroom.
Husband told wife, "satisfy him or he will kill us, b strong I LOVE U"
Wife said "He didnt kiss me,He whispered in my ear that he's GAY, needs vaseline & I told him its in the bathroom. So b strong I LOV U 2...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Husband: Kaam wali Ko Bulao!
Wife:Kyun. . .???
Husband: Doctor Ne Bola Hy K Raat Ko Dwaii Khaao Aur Shanti (Kaam Wali) K Saath So Jao. . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Son: Me Aap Ki Shadi K Baad Q Peda Hua. . . ? Pehle Q Nahi. . .?
Mom: Tumhare bahar Aane K Liye Rasta Nahi Tha.. . Tumhare Dad Ne Khod Khod Kar Rasta Banaya. . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Sardar ki suhag rat hai..
Bevi bed par bethi hai..
aur sardar se kehti hai..
dunia ka sab se ganda kam kardo..
Sardar ny paint utari or..
.
Bed Per Poti Kar Di...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Girl:Eik sasti c breazer dena..
Salesman: ye 60 ki
Girl: or sasti
S: Yeh 30 ki
G: Or sasti
S: Yeh 20 ki
Girl: or sasti..?
S: Chotu! in ko 2 BOTTEL k DHAKKAN or SUTLI De Do...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Angraiz officer elaan ker raha tha aur sardar translate ker rha tha..
O PEOPLE
o bhen chodo
IT IS ANNOUNCED HARDLY
bhund phar elaan kia jaraha hai
IF ANYONE INTERFARE IN GOVT
agar kisi ne hakumat nal bhen chudai ki
HE'LL B PUNISHED ELEPHANTLY
onu hathi k lund nal bun dia jaye ga
THATS ALL
lund pay charo...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Guy1: hey how was first nite?
Guy2: big mistake yaar... i was so drunk... i forgot that i was married, and remembering the old days, i kept Rs500 under the pillow after finishing u know wat...
Guy1: oh my god! how could u?.. it could not be any worse!
Guy2: well actually it is..... saali ne 200 rupiya vaapas kar diya. . . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Ek Aadmi Ne Guard Se Bola: Pata Hy Me C.M. K Bohut CLOSE Huun. . . Mujhe Andar Jane Do . . .Guard: Sir, Jhaantain Bhi Bhi LUND K CLOSE Hoti Hyn. . . Par Wo Andar Nahi Jaati Hyn. . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
GUY TAKES GILR TO HIS ROOM, PUTS HIS PANTS DOWN AND SAYS:
MEET MY LITTLE BROTHER ,
GIRL PICKS UP HER BAG AND SAYS: CALL ME WHEN HE GROWS UP. . .
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs Had Sex
Snow White: I'm Sad & Frustrated!
Dwarfs: Why?
She Cried n Said:
I Want 7 inches 1 time, Not 1 inch 7 times. . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Teacher: Hamein macharon ko pada hone se rokna chahiye..
Student: Wo tu ho he nahen sakta..
Teacher: Kyon.?
Student: Kyon k itna chota condom ban he nahen sakta...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Ek Glass Pani Lo
UsMe Neem K Darakht K Paatel Dalo..
Phir 2 Ghanty K Lye Rakh do..
Phr 10 Min Garam Kar K
Thanda Karny K
Baad Pi Lo..
GAND K KEEREY MaR Jaingy...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
Tendulkar having sex with call girl.
She said: Teri lulli pe AIDS likha hai..
Tendulkar replied:
Maa ki louri, pora khara to honay de ADIDAS likha hai...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Boyz attitude !
A boy When Proposez A Girl
If she sayz "YES" Then
PATA NAHI KITNO KO HAAN KAHA HOGA . . . . !!!
If she sayz "NO" Then
BEHAN KI LORI KHUD KO ASHWARYA RAI SAMJHDI HAI. . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Ustaad:
Chotay 17 Number Ka Pana De . . . .
Chota :
Acha Ustaad
Ustaad :
Aaaaahhhhhh . . . !!!
Abay MadarChod Haath Main Tou De . . . ;->
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Today is SORRY DAY..!
So send this msg 2 all
Agar kabhi meri koi baat buri lagi ho to, Lun pe charho main yeh day nahi manata...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Papa papa 2day I had sex wid my teacher.!
Papa: Wah beta ya hui na Mardon wali baat! Chalo Aaj party hojae..
Son: Aaj nahi papa, Aaj Gand mein bohat dard hai...
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